I had a thought when I was reading an article about connecting with a body-sense of a feeling and experience today. It brought to mind how different emotional states feel in my body and I became curious about what brings people to seek therapy in the first place. Is it when we feel too much in our bodies? Is it when we are confused by what we feel? Is it because we do not know why we are feeling, or not feeling anything at all? Something that occurred to me is how skewed my perception and world view is since immersing myself in the therapy world. Me as a therapist working with a model which incorporates therapist's use of self feels so familiar so I like to chat with people I meet and remind myself there are so many other bodies and humans and experiences which co-exist with my current life journey.
For instance, when I went out for lunch, I got chatting to the lovely gent serving me my cod bites and chips. He asked what I did and when I told him he jokingly asked 'you work with mad people?' I was a bit taken aback but managed to continue the conversation ping pong and replied 'do you mean angry people?...Well I work with everybody whatever they feel'. We continued a pleasant conversation, I received my lovely lunch and left feeling grateful for the exchange as it made me think about how the word 'mad' has been used before.
Different versions of mad
Where I came from, Manchester, I remember it being a positive word, being 'mad for it' is a pretty good thing, it means you're really excited about something. Being mad can also be a pejorative term for trying to describe someone who is not mentally well. Though, when it comes to mental health in the media there are sometimes relative advantages to the label if the alternative option is to be just plain bad.
The other thing about the word mad is it can also be a way to describe anger when it is directed at someone: 'I am mad at you/were you mad at me?'. Or as a destination for someone: 'you are driving me mad'. This is where I started to wonder more about it. Maybe a reason I sought therapy myself before was when I felt anger but was unable to express it. I wonder what might have happened if I did not find a way to get to know my own 'mad-ness'.
Working with anger
Even still, working with anger is a really powerful process. I am an advocate for connecting with felt senses of all kinds, though it seems the more we connect with the others, the closer we get to this one. I think we are socially conditioned to pretend it is not there when actually it exists in all of us. It not only exists but is also so important for helping us discover what matters to us. The bit that has been helpful in therapeutic work is working with anger from a curiously engaged position.
Where do we feel anger?
Which part of us is feeling anger? Does it feel different sometimes? I like to make use of Lucy Braman's (2024) emotion and sensation wheel to bring to mind all the ways we can experience feelings in our bodies. Staying with a feeling as it is felt in us can draw attention to where there may be an edge or a shift, some movement within. Once it has been found, what might it turn into once it is attended to? Another wheel, a feelings wheel helps identify all the different ways we can talk about the same thing. As Eugene Gendlin said: 'there is no human nature' (Gendlin, 1990). We perceive things differently because we develop in our own unique ecosystems - families, religions, cultures, generations. Every human is socially conditioned, we are different but we all feel in our bodies. Bodies may differ too but emotions are universal.
Why do we feel anger?
Anger is a vital part of a stress response, the part that tells us something is not OK and we need to address it. Anger can range anywhere from a little niggle to fury to murderous rage. When our sympathetic nervous system is activated, we become mobilised in response to a perceived threat. This part of us is so important because it has been handed down by our ancestors - it is 400 million years old! This feeling and response forms part of our autonomic nervous system, where our fight and flight responses come from. Fight and flight happen without our planning, but instead come from an instinct to survive. Our autonomic nervous system is shaped by experiences and this determines how sensitive our threat response might be in relation to what happens in our early environment.
What can we do with anger?
The polyvagal theory is an approach which can be incorporated into therapy to help reshape our autonomic responses (Dana, 2020). Compassion focussed therapy also incorporates this understanding into therapy to create space to notice threat activation and respond in ways which serve us better (Gilbert, 2014; Porges, 2007).
Working with an integrative Cognitive Analytic Therapy approach offers the flexibility to draw on different elements of these two approaches in addition to connecting emotional experiences with self-states. Anger, as well as all the other unbearable emotions we experience as humans, can be connected with on the map. With the support of a mutually safe and trusting, collaborative working relationship, we begin to create space. Discoveries can be made through mapping. The early sessions are focused on recognising how we relate to ourselves and others. As we become more aware of our patterns of relating, we can sense which emotions give rise to these perceptions. Through engaging with feelings and a bird's eye view of our relationship roles, we discover what else may be possible when we are not taking familiar steps on our map and hopefully we may find some method in the madness.
References:
Braman, L. (2024) Emotion and sensation wheel. Available for purchase from: https://lindsaybraman.com/emotion-sensation-feeling-wheel/
Dana, D. (2020) Polyvagal exercises for safety and connection. W.W. Norton & Company Ltd: London & New York
Gendlin, E. T. (1990). The small steps of the therapy process: How they come and how to help them come. In G. Lietaer, J. Rombauts & R. Van Balen (Eds.), Client-centered and experiential psychotherapy in the nineties, pp. 205-224. Leuven: Leuven University Press. From https://www.focusing.org/gendlin/docs/gol_2110.html
Gilbert, P. (2014) The origins and nature of compassion focused
therapy. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 53, pp. 6–41
Porges, S. W. (2007) The polyvagal perspective. Biological Psychology, 74, pp. 116–143. doi:10.1016/j.biopsycho.2006.06.009